My Favorite Underwear ♥
It is what we wear closest to our skin. When it is under our clothes, it can feel like something that we do just for ourselves, and when it is all we are wearing, it can be a powerful means for expressing who we are. Here I have asked a handful of super hot and inspiring people (friends, Instagram crushes, and both) to write a little text about their favorite underwear and what makes it special to them.
Alysse Dalessandro is a fashion and beauty writer. Her work has appeared on The Lingerie Addict and many other places. Se is also the founder of the body positive jewelry and accessory brand Ready To Stare.
I received the Jessica Curve bodysuit from Playful Promises to review for The Lingerie Addict. I had never really worn anything like this before. It was delicate and had intricate beading. It felt special. There was a thoughtfulness to the design that I’m just not used to seeing in lingerie in my size. Often times, I am told to settle for things that are either cheaply made or extremely matronly. The Jessica Curve bodysuit just felt different. It was modern and fresh. A girl I was seeing at the time took these images for me and even though things didn’t work out with her, I still look at these images and I feel seen. I look at these images and see happiness. The images have a level of playfulness that my lingerie images usually don’t. Because I am a survivor of sexual trauma, I underwent a long journey to learn to see that lingerie was for me. I had to learn that lingerie could exist in a context that felt safe and eventually empowering for me. Now when I think about this bodysuit and the moment in which these images were taken, I see freedom.
Ulrik Frost is a Copenhagen-based bisexual icon and an activist, who fights for unconditional human dignity regardless of gender and sexuality.
I bought this wonderful outfit when I was 14. It is from a very specific time of my life when I was feeling extremely ashamed of my “feminine behavior”, which had led to a childhood of bullying and stigmatization. But this string and tank mark the point where I began to understand, that I was brought up in an unjust society and that my behavior or way of being wasn’t wrong at all – it is the society that we grow up in that is wrong, because it judges feminine behavior so harshly. I went from feeling constantly inhibited and different to being an activist who wanted to change the world that we live in. That is an amazingly empowering feeling, which also came to me because I found friends with whom I could discuss the structures I had suffered under. The outfit is very ugly, very gay, very political, very nude, very too much, very anti patriarchy, very party. It’s just very much me.
Zelia Rose is an award-winning dancer and performance artist channeling the 1930’s golden age of burlesque. She has lit up stages around the world and this summer she was part of Dita Von Teese’s ‘Art of the Teese’ tour.
I bought this piece in Mortmartre, Paris. I was exploring the fabric district and came across the most amazing showgirl shops, places where you have to barter and bid with budget versions of Moulin Rouge style costumes, trims, feathers, beads and anything you could really want… well if you’re a showgirl! The night before I had gone to see “The Crazy Horse”, which I had admired and taken inspiration from for many years. It was as glorious as I could have expected and felt somewhat exclusive in a really small theatre with little booths.
Lingerie to me is like a little secret weapon under your clothes and I also like incorporating it with my outwear with maybe a sheer top or with something low cut. I always go for a matching set because it just feels like you’ve got everything together when you’ve got some gorgeous sets in your wardrobe. As I do burlesque I often transform lingerie pieces into costumes adding fabric, crystals and building dimension on shapes. Talking of shapes, that’s really what I look for in lingerie. I know my body and what suits me. I go for high cut shapes, triangle bras and strappy body hugging designs. I think lingerie can be a way to celebrate your body, I don’t wear it for anyone else I wear it for myself!
Rob Fatal is a California-based, queer, Latinx video artist and filmmaker as well as a professor of theatre arts and film.
. I know we agreed to never speak to each other again, but I forgot to say “thank you” for the frilly, black and white pair of chonies you gave me on a really cold December night when I forgot my pajamas at my house and I didn’t want to sleep naked in your bed.
. I asked if you had any sweatpants and I think you said “no” or you might have already been wearing them. I forget. What I remember is your generosity and excitement as you quickly pulled out a pair of your own panties to give to me. They were femme but oddly gender queer, kind of like you. Kind of like me. Like us. They were soft, durable, well worn, but fluid and could stretch to accommodate most bodies but I’m sure they had a breaking point.
. I remember the smile on your face and how your thick eyebrows raised when I put them on. You were the first mirror I saw myself in as a recently out gender fluid person.
. I was not in drag. I was not a man dressing up as a woman. In that moment I stood in front of you, half naked, as a person who could stretch from binary to binary with ease and elasticity and comfort into an endless range of being.
. Your panties felt so different and exciting. They rubbed softly and lightly against my butt and crotch and hips. They held me tight. I know they were old news to you, which is why I’m sure you offered to let me keep them. But I also think you let me have them because you saw what this small swatch of cloth meant to me. In fact, I know you saw me, but I’m not sure you could understand how deeply.
. A year after you gifted my first femme chonies, I bought my first dress. That night I dolled myself up and took this really cute photo of me wearing it. I was so excited that I wanted to show everybody including you. But that day I didn’t have everybody, or you, to show. So instead I showed that picture to my dad. And when I showed my dad that photo of exactly who I am, he made a face that looked like he bit into a sour lemon or ate too much wasabi. This is why you seeing me meant so much. You saw me with the same acceptance, peace and joy I have struggled to see myself with my entire life. I want to see passed my generational trauma, Mexican Machismo and American Toxic Masculinity. Your old panties, my new chonies, are a start.
Gracias por vida,